One stormy Wednesday morning (last week) I suddenly became inspired to write a note on Facebook, completely spewing my emotions and true stance on people in my life.
Well, this note caused quite a stir.
I was suddenly receiving texts from people I barely speak to asking which side of the fence they're on in my books.
While texting my roommate to offer her a ride home from work, she accused me of writing it about her and her boyfriend.
I even had a couple of my friends questioning my feelings about them.
I found this all very interesting.
I found that the only people who this note had a negative effect on,
are the exact same people who have a negative effect on me.
Did it cause dramas? Always!
Do I care? Absolutely not.
This was the best note I've ever written, and despite the bad,
I had a lot of amazing response as well.
Please see below:
MISS-UNDERSTOOD, TRUE BLUES, TOXIC PEOPLE....Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 11:32am |
YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!Put yourself in my shoes. I live in a world where nothing is black and white.
Everyone around me is only out for #1.
Maybe that's the way it should be? I'm not sure.
That is not the way that I am. I am a people pleaser.
I tend to put the needs of my friends and the people I love before my own.
BIG MISTAKE.
I am learning this more and more lately. Your friends (in most cases) are not all
TRUE BLUES.
There are always going to be other people swaying them who are more important than you are to them, or closer to them, or cooler to them.
Where does that leave you?
It leaves you S.O.L.
We all make mistakes.
We all make bad choices.
We all have feelings and we are all entitled to feel every last one of them, good or bad.
Why is it, that for someone like me, who is so nice, so forgiving, such a TRUE friend to anyone I let into my life, good or bad; I am constantly turned on, constantly bashed, constantly made to feel badly?
Oh, right. It's because I am a drama queen, so I deserve anything bad that comes to me.... Well, guess what?? SCREW YOU!
To all of you people who I have described above, (and it is not just 1 person) you all know who you are, so DO NOT ask me if this is about you.
If you read this and you think it sounds like you, that's because it IS you, and this is the type of character you are.
If you don't really care about my feelings, if you aren't there for me when I'm sad, if you don't defend me to the end no matter what I do wrong... Then you are not my friend and I am not yours.
Just because I am nice to you, it doesn't mean I don't know who you really are.
TRUE COLORS- They always come out.
Now maybe you are wondering what a TRUE FRIEND is.
My definition of a true friend is the following:
A True Friend
Is someone you can confide in, you can call them at any hour of the night without a second thought. They understand you and always have your best interest at heart. They think about you and care about how you're doing. A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.
Now this is not a note of attack, and this is not a note to call out all of the assholes in the world, this note is for anyone who has ever felt taken advantage of, alone and at the center of bad situations with no one behind you.
YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE BEHIND YOU NO MATTER WHAT.
Keep your close friends near and dear, because they are very hard to find.
Know who you can trust and who has your back, no matter what. If you aren't sure if you can trust them, or that they care, you can't and they don't.
Plain and simple.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am an extremist.
When I'm happy it's ecstatic.
When I'm sad, I'm really low.
When I'm angry, it's fire.
This is me, so either LOVE me or LEAVE ME ALONE.
People who leach on to other people's shit and FREELOAD, that makes me sick too.
So all you mooches, losers, slackers, you can disappear too.
If you know people like that, run for your life. They will suck the life out of you!
You will recognize people like that if they:
Never have money, you always have to pay for them, they seem helpless in every situation, they do nothing, they act like they feel bad taking from you, but they always accept what you have to give them.
Today I am setting the record straight, if it was ambiguous in the past, it is crystal clear now.
I am a great person, I am blessed to have so many wonderful people surrounding me.
And if I am your friend, you are blessed too, because I am an amazing friend to have.
Thank you to: Angel, Ileana, Helen, Zee, Judy, Katika and all of my MAC SHERWAY FAMILY for being God-sent into my life. You are some of the most special people I have ever met and I cherish my friendship with every one of you.
Thank you to Davin for being my rock, remaining loyal and forgiving no matter what I do. I'm so glad we're friends. You are the best guy I know.
Thank you for Deanna for reminding me that people are only out for #1 and encouraging me to rise above it. You are beautiful inside and out, Girl!
I love you guys.
Peace Out.
Ashley T at 11:36am January 28
Aw Tass this is so nice!!!! Love you too!! I'm glad you realize that not everyone is like you, you're a great girl! Don't let anyone bring you down!!xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Ashley T at 12:07pm January 28
ps. Listen to "Can't Take That Away" by Mariah... that should be our theme song!!! LOL
Tassja at 12:18pm January 28
I used to listen to that song everyday in Grade 10 and cry! lol
Genevieve B. at 12:20pm January 28
Ugh, I've seen you grow SO much and can't ever express to you how proud I am of you (you little fucker!) even though you confuse me sometimes, you have always been there for me and you know that if there's ever anything I can do for you or anywhere I can be for you that I'll do whatevs in my power to be there, mothafuckaaaaaa! You have come a long way and I'm glad we met. x's and o's x 100.
Genevieve B. at 12:21pm January 28
p.s. Signed, Kenny.
Tassja at 12:22pm January 28
LOL Kenny!!!! Awww!!
Michelle at 1:54pm January 28
Wow!!! Tass, I completely hear u and feel you on this!!! it's SOO hard to find TRUE BLUES!!!!
Keep Shinning GURL!!!!
Jenny at 2:06pm January 28
Hey Tass
Love ya! Remember what I always tell you certain friends keep an arms distance away minimum. True Blues keep close to you as possible. They are hard to find but the best thing in a gals life. As you get older what I'm saying will become clearer and clearer.
kisses
xoxoxox
J
Mark G at 7:00pm January 28
What did I do?????
Ashleigh H at 8:45pm January 28
aww munchkin!! xxo
Faye P at 8:55pm January 28
Even though I don't see you or talk to you everyday Tass.. I love you....
♥
Natalie C at 9:32pm January 28
Even though we r like ying and yang everything u think I probably don't love about u, I adore.
I'm still in the process of learning how to be a true friend due to my issues with trust but I have definately learned a lot from u over this year and a half.
U r such a lover and its beautiful and I wish their were more people like u.
Keep singing, loving y&r, keep being the biggest britney fan ever,
just stay beautiful and sweet.
Cause even though u might not think so, I love u for 100 percent of who u r.
Xoxo
Nat
Kam at 10:33pm January 28
OMG!! This was so beautiful!! I love u girl, u know u are my sista fo life!!! This was greatly written!!! Be 100% u!!! Tell those vampires to "suck themselves".....(thats what us jamaicans say..lol)
anyway luv ya
from the other black girl
KAM
Ashley H at 1:43am January 29
love you, buttercup. x.
Nelia S at 7:31am January 29
biscuit.... i'm so proud of you for finally speaking your mind! Know ALWAYS that i will be one of your fans (and i'm not talking just about your singing),
You have always been true and i love you just the way you are...
XOXO
FFL (friends for life)
you know... the sherway crew always got your back gurl;)
Angel at 11:20pm January 29
HaHa That top pic is so appropriate!!
I love you tassi you are the one constant in my life, no matter how much i try to hide fight run! you always see right through to my heart and can always pic me up. There has never been a time you weren't there for me NEVER! i could never put into words how important you are to me, how many times you have saved me.
Tassja, You are extreme, crazy (i mean loco!) beautiful, intuitive, inspirational, You are SPECIAL! there is no one in this world that could even begin to scratch the surface of how amazing you are. What some may see as your faults i see as just some of the shit that makes you, YOU! and i love you! everything about you!
I hope that you will never let all the scoundrels of the world taint your pure heart.
I love you tassja, thank you for being in my life.
Anyone who thinks this chic is anything less then a Goddess of love (all the meanings of love)
You are sadly mistaken! and well....your a fukin IDIOT!
xoxoxoxxox bella!
BFF
Erica S at 12:06pm January 30
Good for you Tassja for speaking your mind. I don't see you often but when I do I love being around you because you are a kind, genuine and all around cool chick. You have good energy and definitely do not need negative people in your life. Like I said to you at Christmas - always follow your heart and do what makes YOU happy.
xo,
E
JessiKa V at 1:03am February 2
Big hugs Tass. ♥
Jolene January 28 at 3:51pm
I know I don't know you very well and have never spent any time with you (except passing eachother in elementary hallways) but I read your not on toxic people and true friends and it really affected me. I wanna give you an old fashioned hi five cause it was very well writtin and so honest. I feel the same and that's probably why I don't have many close friends. It's hard to find people you can truly trust who honestly want to see you succeed with shining colours. Good for you for writing such a great note, everyone can benefit from reading it. So yeah, just wanted to say 'Go Girl!!' and of course the hi five to go along with it! lol.
anyhow, have a great day, week year etc. I'm surprised we never hung out in our younger years, we probably woulda made pretty good friends. Anyhow, ttyl hun.
Jolene
CristinaJanuary 28 at 7:18pm
Hey Love,
I know that I'm in and out of things because of my busy life. I just want you to know that no matter how busy things get, I always think of you and will forever love you. NOTHING can ever change that because I know that you have a good heart and are a TRUE BLUE.
lots of love,
xoxoxoox
Cristina
Michelle Heavenly GabrielJanuary 30 at 7:11pm
Hey Gurl, u have truly inspsired me!!! I had to steal some things from your note , to let some people know how i feel thanks..
Your so courageous!!
Thanks,
Michelle
Muah..